Thursday, March 16, 2006

Cochainian Reflections

For those of you who haven't read the most recent blog (With the purity of an ant colony and the beauty of a flawless pearl) on you should. Provided, of course you are either 1) conservative or 2) have a good sense of humor. Anyway he inspired me to write my own. Warning, likely to offend anyone left of far right. So here you go, earth based reflections of the Cochainian mindset:

Legal System:
First off I'd trim the police department of all unnecessary personnel namely parole officers and psychologists (please note this does not include profilers), then I'd put anyone under 5'6" on permanent desk duty. I don't have anything against short people, I'm short, but if they can't hold their own against the average fully grown man they don't belong at the business end of policing. They can do behind the scenes work if they still want to be in the law enforcing business. Then I'd change the pay system. All law enforcement would be provided with a housing budget equal to 1.5 the mean of the city they live in. So if a two bedroom apartment (in a large city) or house (in a smaller town) is an average of $600 a month for rent then they would get $900 a month for use towards rent or mortgage. They would be provided with a car fitting their and/or their family's needs and a credit card for gas. Insurance, provided they remain fault accident free off the job, would be provided by the city as well. In addition they would be paid a monthly salary of $4,000 tax free with a .5% increase for every hour of overtime worked during the month. I would also make slots open for policeman who wished to work 4 ten-hour days and have 3 off instead of 5 eight-hour days with 2 off. State police would be treated the same as local. Federal police, FBI, would have an additional 5% increase for each day they are away from their home base. There would be no more squabbling over jurisdiction. If the chase, or crime, crossed over the city lines it is a state police matter. If the chase or crime crosses state borders it is a FBI matter. All information on ALL crimes will be stored in a computer system freely accessible to all law enforcement agencies, so there will be no squabbling over leads or holding back information with jurisdiction changes. And so proper searches for previous crimes can be accomplished. Furthermore DNA and fingerprints of anyone convicted of any crime will be entered into a national database for comparison.
Next is the judiciary system. First off, lawyers. If a lawyer is aware that his client has actually committed the crime they will be required to report it. Arguing in a court that a client they know committed the crime is innocent of the crime (they could still argue diminished capacity, exigent circumstances, self-defense etc) would be considered perjury and punishable as such. Lawyers would not be able to reject jurors for any and all or even no reason but only if the juror had a strong preconceived opinion to the guilt or innocence of the accused or if they had a personal prejudice against or for the accused. As far as sentencing goes the phrase 'cruel and unusual' would revert back to its intended form. We know what its was intended to protect against and what it would allow by looking at what was illegal and what was legal at the time the people who wrote and signed it lived. Physical punishment would most definitely take its appropriate place back in the justice system. Furthermore sentencing would be focused on making criminals pay their debt to society and to their victims as well as making sure they do not re-offend. For crimes against property, such as burglary, car jacking, graffiti, destruction of private or public property etc, the criminal would be sentenced to jail until they have paid restitution to their victims. By restitution I mean full repair or repurchase price for the item/property damaged/destroyed. For non-lethal violent crimes, such as assault, the criminal would be sentenced to physical punishment in addition to jail time until restitution can be made, and by restitution I mean not only paying any and all medical bills but also any lost wages and 'pain and suffering' punitive damages to be awarded by the jury. Someone convicted of sustained abuse, such as wife beating or child abuse, if convicted a second time, would be ejected from the country after serving their time for restitution. They would be allowed time in jail to find somewhere else to live and 1 month after their release, if found in the country afterwards they will be jailed by the INS as an illegal alien. Someone convicted of molestation would be physically castrated and serve a jail sentence until their victim turns 18, with all money made past restitution put towards a nationwide college scholarship for victims of abuse, molestation, and rape. If their victim is over 18 they would serve no less than a 5 year term. A repeat conviction would result in ejection from the country after their mandatory time of restitution. Convicted rapists will have any and all property forfeit towards restitution of the victim, if further restitution is required for medical bills rapists will be jailed until such a time as they have repaid restitution, then they will be executed unless granted leniency in writing by their victim. If leniency is given the jail term shall be no less the 10 years. If the assault resulted in pregnancy and leniency is granted they will be required to provide child support, parental rights, however, are at the mother's graces. Repeat offenders are not eligible for leniency. Murderers (manslaughter and degrees of murder will no longer be valid. If you kill, its either murder or self defense.) will have all property forfeit and will serve time until restitution has been made towards any medical and funeral costs, then they will be executed unless granted leniency in writing by their victims closest surviving family member (spouse then mother then father than older siblings than younger siblings...) Multiple counts or repeat convictions are not eligible for leniency. If leniency is granted the jail term shall be no less than 10 years.
Prisons would be completely redesigned. Cells will contain a bed, a sink, a toilet, and a desk. Inmates will be allowed paper and pen to write and if they obey all rules will have library access although magazines will be restricted to technical, scientific, medical, or otherwise specific magazines, general magazines, such as "People" or "Time" and pornographic magazines will be banned. While in jail inmates will spend their days at base manual labor such as clean up, road work, tree planting, or harvesting under the eye of armed guards. They will be paid $5 an hour minus taxes. For those not scheduled for execution 5% of their earning, unless otherwise noted, will be put into a savings account so they do not leave the prison destitute, the rest will go towards restitution. Inmates will spend 1 day a week in class learning a basic manual trade of their choice such as constructions, plumbing, mechanics, roofing, tree trimming, etc. Inmates who act out or break rules will be subject to corporal punishment, library privileges revoked, and be unable to receive outside mail, care packages, or visitors. Inmates attempting to escape will be shot. Lethal measures will be avoided but legal for fleeing inmates. If they survive the attempt any medical costs will be added to the restitution they must pay. Juvenile offenders will spend an equal amount of time in age appropriate labor and schooling. A juvenile's legal guardian may pay up to 50% of a juvenile's restitution as well as be allowed to add to the saving account for the benefit of the juvenile up to any amount. A juvenile's voucher money (explained later) will be forfeit to the state during the time of incarceration.
Along the lines of the justice system illegal immigration will go back to being illegal. Any illegal aliens found in the country will be expelled, if their home country does not take refugees they will be held by INS until they can either legally apply and obtain citizenship or until they find somewhere that will take them. Any employer found to be hiring an illegal alien will be prosecuted for stealing from the state and fined the fair wage price for the entire time the alien worked for them. For instance if an illegal alien had worked for 8 months for an average of 50 hours a week and the fair wage for his job was $8 an hour the employer would owe $12800 in restitution. If he employed 10 aliens for the same time period the restitution would be $128000. Up to 50% of the restitution can be paid by the employer from existing moneies, the other 50% must be paid through jail time. The money will be paid to a local area charity supporting the poor. Legal immigration, however, will follow simple rules. If the person has no criminal background (criminal background will be defined as a conviction for a crime that is also illegal in the US), no tie to known terrorist or crime syndicates they will be allowed in on a 2 year visa. Before the year is up they must take a written and oral English examination, be able to read aloud the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, and pass a true/false test on the legalities of randomly chosen actions. A possible questions might be "It is legal to protest against the government" or "It is legal to refuse to pull over when a police car flashes its lights behind you" or "It is legal for your employer to fire you for your religion". They must also swear loyalty to the US and take the Pledge of Allegiance in public. All testing will be in English. If their visa expires before they have completed the required exams they will be expelled from the country.
Public schools will be run by private institutes and will not be subsidized by federal, state, or local governments. Parents will get $2000 a month per child to spend on any school of their choice, or to use towards home schooling. Schooling will not be required but all students, and all home school students whose parents are drawing the voucher, will submit to yearly academic testing. The full results will be published by school and if any home school student falls more than one grade average behind the average local public school student they will have 6 months to make up the difference or they will be required to attend a public school of the parent’s choice or loose the voucher. Colleges will not be directly subsidized by federal, state, or local governments. Full scholarships for those that test within the top 10% of the nation will be provided by the federal government for any school of the student’s choice provided they fail no class. Full scholarships for those that test within the top 10% of each state will be provided by each state for any school of the student’s choice provided they fail no class. Past that scholarships and tuitions will be left to the colleges.
Adultery will be illegal and any married party who is convicted will be subject to 1 year in jail with wages being paid to their spouse. Prostitution will be illegal and any person convicted of soliciting a prostitute will be subject to 1 year in jail with wages being paid to a local charity. People arrested for prostitution will have their names, DNA, and fingerprints loaded into a system, their third such arrest will result in a 1 year jail sentence with 50% of their wages going to local charities and the other 50% placed in a savings account for their use when they are released. For either solicitation or prostitution a third offense resulting in jail time the sentence will be 5 years. Marriage will be held sacrosanct and divorce legal only upon a spouse's explusion from the country or upon a spouse's adultery conviction. Legal separation, however, will be allowed but parties will still be considered legally married and may not remary and any sexual promiscuity will be considered adultery. Engaging in any form of sexual intercourse with a person not yet of sexual maturity will be strictly illegal and will be considered rape and charged as such. Homosexual intercourse of any kind will be strictly illegal. Upon conviction perpetrators will be given a choice between 1 year in jail with their wages paid to a charity or medical group or accept expulsion from the country. A third conviction will increase the jail time to 5 years. Abortion will be illegal in all cases. Medical procedures to save the life of the mother that may inadvertently, unintentionally, or inescapably harm or kill the baby will be legal. The performer of an abortion will be charged with murder. Anyone exchanging any services, monetary or otherwise, to pay the abortionist will also be charged with murder. Euthanasia will be illegal and anyone performing it will be charged with murder. Anyone exchanging services, monetary or other, to pay for the euthanasia will also be charged with murder.
Finally the federal government will get out of people’s lives and get back to doing their job. They will protect this country from all enemies, foreign and domestic, make sure the states uphold the Constitution as it applies to state governments, and COIN money. That’s right, coin money. As put forth by the founding fathers to keep inflation from getting out of hand all money will be in the form of coins made from metal, gold, silver, copper etc, loans, credit cards, bank notes will all have to be directly backed by their face value in hard currency. The federal government will be allowed to tax the states for military and required bureaucratic funding. The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, and the Ten Commandments will be visibly posted in every federal building. The states will rule the people as intending and the federal government will keep the states as a cohesive unit and protect citizen’s right to move from state to state freely. Each state may tax its citizens as it sees fit, as may each town. Drugs, public morality, religion, tolerance policies, and election policies etc will be strictly under each states specific rule and will in no way be limited with in any state by the federal government. Congress may pass laws concerning interactions, transactions, morality, and in general any activity that fall under federal jurisdiction only. That is, a federal law can only be broken when state lines are crossed. For instance if marijuana is legal in California but illegally federally a Californian would be safe from federal arrest as long as he did not cross state lines in possession of marijuana.

There, that is, more or less, as close as you can get to my perfect government in earth terms. Of course, my truly perfect government is much simpler to define: A direct Theocracy under Almighty God with Jesus ruling from the New Jerusalem. And while I might hypothesize about the best human government it is nothing more than an amusing discussion topic, for a perfect government will never be founded by men. But, someday, I hope to see you all in the only perfect government, that wonderful, everlasting Theocracy called Heaven!


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